“Look hipster lady.”

In case you don’t already know, I have launched my pro-diversity project for the Women Thinking Free Foundation. It’s called More Than Men, and it’s awesome. Go look, admire, and contribute your voice.

On Monday I wrote a piece about some problems at The Good Men Project. An editor there asked me if I would let them publish a modified version on their site. I agreed, with the requirement that they link to the original post. They did so.

Now it’s being blown up by dudes who have their feelings hurt. The editors at TGMP moderate comments and don’t apporve all of them, As they author I get to see the posts that don’t get approved. Here is my favorite ever, from a man who called himself “Ed”:

Look hipster lady. Us men are not turning into little girls  as apart of your ridiculous social experiment. Your low brow interpretation of a already bad social theory is hardly just cause to do so. There is nothing remotely intelligent about coming to a men’s site meant to host the stories of men and their experiences and demanding the men be less masculine using the most crude language as if we were sharing a spliff on a corner. Then again you might actually be stoned, which is why you thought this post was a good idea in the first place.

For one feminist have spent decades trying to get women to be more masculine while at the same time actively exploiting power vacuums left be feminized men. The emergence of masculine women has not been pleasant since they lacked the chivalry that made male masculinity tolerable. Men’s expression of masculinity is practically required by gender roles which feminist don’t see much benefit in changing. Men still ask women out, men still have to be stoic to absorb rejection, men are still expected to have money while women simply have to exist to find a mate, men are still expected to protect women, men are still in the most dangerous roles and the list goes on. Women get benefits from masculinity, but which to suppress it when it threatens their power in the relationship or on the job.  Instead of abolishing masculinity, how about women learn some respect and appreciation instead of taking it for granted as feminist seem to have encouraged with contemptuous attitudes like the one you have.  Women don’t even like feminine men and men don’t like masculine women. At some point those who thrive outside of the mainstream are going to have to accept that being different does not mean making everyone else be you. If you want gender neutrality, then never bring up gender again.

One day when you grow up your going to find out the idealist around you did not tell you the whole truth, mainly because they did not know it.  The real liars are the academics who come up with bad theories to get published by inventing a distorted perspective on the human struggle that sounds good to sympathetic readers.  A general attack on maleness and  masculinity will make you a bigot.

A conspiracy of crybabies or the comfortable shelter of apathy?

The skeptic/atheist community has a woman problem. The nature of that problem depends on who you ask. Most people agree that it would be good to have more women involved in our community. Many women, and many men like myself, see that the problem is that our community is unwelcoming to women. Others say the problem is all the ladies fault.

We have all heard the many, many incidents of sexist and misogynist attitudes and actions women report experiencing at our meetings and online. We have numerous examples of prominent male skeptics and atheists exhibiting behaviors that many women say make them feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. I believe that what we choose to do with these facts speaks volumes about who we are as individuals and as a community. The response from men seems to break down as follows: Continue reading A conspiracy of crybabies or the comfortable shelter of apathy?

The Confederacy is Destroying America


I make my jokes about “the former Confederacy”, but I know many good and decent people from southern states. I still think Robert Reich got a salient point in his AlterNet piece: The “culture” of the (angry, white, rural) south has destroyed the Republican party and is trying to destroy America.

“America has had a long history of white Southern radicals who will stop at nothing to get their way – seceding from the Union in 1861, refusing to obey Civil Rights legislation in the 1960s, shutting the government in 1995, and risking the full faith and credit of the United States in 2010.”


Holiday Cheer: Can it be created alone?

I’ve been an out atheist for years but I still celebrate Christmas – I may be godless, but I am culturally christian. I am one of those secularists who ignores the “Christ” in Christmas and instead enjoys it as a holiday to be merry and share love and gifts with the ones you love. This year, for the first time in my life, I’m alone at Christmas time.

Not only am I single this year, but I don’t have family to go see, and while some friends have invited me to join their festivities, I must admit I think I’ll pass because my messed up emotions aren’t up to a gathering I’m not 100% familiar with. So what’s a sad, lonely atheist to do during his favorite holiday of the year?

My strategy is three-fold:

  1. Looking for another loner to spend the day with.
  2. I recently spent a chunk of my free money to help a stranger have a good Christmas.
  3. I’m sending out holiday cards for the first time in my life.

I’m not yet sure how it will all play out, but I did make a map to show myself who in the world I’m touching this holiday season. You can see it below.

Continue reading Holiday Cheer: Can it be created alone?

Sasha’s Brief Guide to Not Being a Douchy Misogynist

This was the most popular post on the old version of my site. You can find it and many other posts on the archive site.

"Hellen" by .:serena_in_wonderland:.I was in my NerdBunker all weekend so I didn’t attend the West Coast Rapture Ram here in Oakland. We ended up not being raptured, and today we have two articles by Jen McCreight and Greta Christina about some clueless dudes at the event, including – apparently – one on the stage.

This is a problem that’s come up again and again in the skeptic/atheist “community”, and the arguments always seem to boil down to dudes so high on Axe body spray fumes that they can’t comprehend the words of anyone with a vagina. I’m a penis-owning, cisgendered, biologically male straight person. Maybe my points can cut through the fog of privilege and latent misogyny so many straight men seem to be burdened with?

Continue reading Sasha’s Brief Guide to Not Being a Douchy Misogynist