Your reasons for objecting to the “Ghostbusters” remake are absurd and are probably sexist.

So it’s been officially announced that the upcoming remake for “Ghostbusters” will have an all female cast and dudes are freaking out. All dudes who are freaking out are claiming that their freak outs have nothing to do with sexism and are all measured and reasonable reasons to freak out. But we all know how excitable and over-emotional white male nerds are. Their freak outs are all for ridiculous and ignorant reasons and they’re all tinged with some misogyny. I’m going to go through some reasons given for these freakouts and explain why they are absurd.

“Women aren’t funny.”

Fuck off and go to hell you gross misogynist.

“This remake will ruin my childhood.”

You’re not a child any more. Your childhood is in the past and it can’t be altered. If you are still a child, then welcome to a wonderful childhood with more diversity than I was allowed back in the 1980s. Also, you haven’t seen the movie yet, you have no idea if it’s good or not. All you know is that it has a cast made up of women. Why does that bother you so much?

“I hate it when remakes make huge changes.”

This is hella stupid because if you insist on no changes in a reboot or a remake you are saying “I hate it when artists make art” because if there is no change there is no creativity. And so far the only change you know of is the genders of the protagonists. Why does it bother you that this is now a movie starring women?

“I hate that Hollywood only makes remakes and sequels any more!”

I assume that means you won’t be in line to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens in December? Stop lying. Like all people you love nostalgia and continuations of stories you love. You just have a problem with this remake. This remake about which you only know that it stars women.

“The particular women in this cast are not funny and/or only play one type of character.”

In Hollywood people basically only get to play one type of character unless they are making tiny movies no one cares about or they are 40+ year old white men who are already well known. Why are you singling out these women for that criticism? If you say that you just don’t find these women funny then I want to know which women you do find funny because these women are very successful comedians and are well regarded by their colleagues and you are also repeating something sexists say so I want some proof that you’re not saying it because of some internalized misogyny.

“I hate good things and I live in fear that this movie will be better than the original one.”

I’m sorry about your life.